Here are a few editing samples that cover the spectrum from light editing
to rewriting to additional writing. Although the samples are too brief
to indicate it, all of these manuscripts required moving around paragraphs,
pages, and sometimes entire chapters. This is editing at the macrolevel.
Once it's been done, your manuscript is ready for editing at the microlevel,
or copyediting.
All samples are from manuscripts that were subsequently published, and
as such they remain the property of their respective copyright holders.
1. Original
To this day, I am still amazed as to how I was able to keep wandering
in circles, kiss one frog after another, in hopes of one day finding a
prince in shining armor. I was like a cyclone stirring all around but
emotionally all I was standing still.
1. Edited
To this day I am amazed at how I kept wandering in circles, kissing one
frog after another, in hope of one day finding a prince in shining armor.
I was like a cyclone of activity, but emotionally I was standing still.
2. Original
My stomach went sideways in my throat. I glanced over at the Lieutenant
again and saw the horror I did not want to see. The corpsman worked in
what seemed a frame by frame flurry of peculiar motions. The Lieutenant
lay peaceful, much too peaceful. A chopper hovered overhead while another
chopper spread gunfire into the tree line. I was told to hustle out and
help form a security perimeter for the landing chopper. The whole North
Vietnamese Army could have been charging, and I would have never seen
them. I could not keep my eyes off of the men as they carried the sleeping
Lieutenant toward the chopper. I could not believe what I was seeing.
I had no idea of his wounds, yet I think I knew they were mortal. Frame
by frame the movie moved. It was a slowly methodical, yet an almost blurry
comprehension that dawned on me, an understanding of the setting in front
of me. It was as if I had become offset somehow to the things around me.
The action of motion had become quite peculiar.
2. Edit
My stomach went sideways in my throat. I glanced over at the lieutenant
again. He still lay peaceful, much too peaceful. The corpsman was working
in what seemed a frame-by-frame flurry of peculiar motions.
A chopper hovered overhead while another spread gunfire into the tree
line. I was told to hustle out and help form a security perimeter for
the landing chopper. The entire North Vietnamese Army could have been
charging, and I would never have seen them. It was as if I'd somehow become
detached from what was going on around me. I couldn't keep my eyes off
the men who were carrying the sleeping lieutenant toward the chopper.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had no idea what his wounds were,
but somehow I knew they were mortal.
Frame by frame the movie rolled.
3. Original
The purpose of therapy helps us to grow up and become loving adults. The
mature person learns to take responsibility for behavior regardless of
their emotional state. Emotions rule a childish (immature) person. Therapy
does not rid us of emotions. Therapy helps us understand and accept our
emotions, and allows our emotions to enhance rather than hinder our lives.
We want to distinguish between being childlike and childish. Childlike
places us in awe of such wonders as: a beautifully written book, a gorgeous
sunset, a stunning musical performance, our capacity for humor and the
presence of God. We want to retain our childlike gift and present ourselves
to God in a childlike fashion. Childish behavior causes emotionally impulsive
actions, which give no thought to impacts upon the moment or on the future.
Childish behavior devastates us and can ruin relationships. What can we
do to grow up and achieve a "childlike maturity," Our Gift to
God?
3. Edit
The purpose of therapy is not to rid us of our emotions. It is to help
us understand and accept them so they enhance rather than diminish our
lives. Therapy helps us to grow up and become mature, loving adults.
Feelings rule an immature person. Childish people act impulsively, without
considering the impact their actions will have on the moment or on the
future. Such behavior can devastate us and destroy our relationships.
Mature people, on the other hand, take responsibility for their behavior
regardless of their emotional state.
Being childlike is not the same as being childish. We want to become mature
without losing our childlikeness, for that is what keeps us in awe of
such wonders as a beautifully written book, a gorgeous sunset, or a stunning
musical performance. It is what ushers us into the presence of God and
allows Him to begin to grow us up by conforming us to the image of His
Son. How can therapy help us grow into a childlike maturity?
4. Original
Is there a ghetto in the church? Often times when you hear the term ghetto
you tend to think of poverty, infestation, lack and all other terms that
would describe below average living. To examine the church, the constant
comparison of ghetto continued to platform itself within my mind. Over
and over I would run comparisons of, "just how many people are truly
living beneath their privilege appearing to live on section 8 in the house
of God". The over whelming struggle to survive in a place where for
some there is no way out, and for others there's an untiring fight to
escape within hopes and dreams that can only be found inside their hearts .
Lets embark on a more in depth look on the drugs. How does all of this
relate to church? Considering drugs for instance, in this modern day church
experience there is a spirit of a quick fix. This detailed review outlines
people who have become addicted to a society that says, "I need it,
and I want it now". In the bible the Apostle Paul warned Timothy
of various spiritual drugs that would, and have affected the people of
God to the point of addiction.
4. Edit
Ghetto isn't a word I would normally associate with the church. Nevertheless,
I can't shake the comparisons that keep running through my mind. The similarities
are shocking.
Take drugs, for instance. In the church today there's a quick-fix spirit,
just like there is in the ghetto. The drug of choice is money, and "I
want it now" is the cry. Leaders misrepresenting the Bible are causing
people to seek prosperity instead of His kingdom. They have injected the
wrong doctrinal drug into body of Christ, and believers have become addicted
to a man-made theory instead of to the Word of God.
5. Original
I love the apostle Peter; impulsive, impetuous Peter. He witnessed the
manifestation of Jesus' glory on a mountaintop and watched as the savior
momentarily exchanged humanity for His divinity, face shining like the
sun and His clothes bright as light, met face to face with Moses and Elijah.
5. Edit
Ah, Peter . impulsive, impetuous Peter.
I think of him on that day on the mountaintop, when he and James and John
watched in awe as Jesus, His face shining like the sun and His clothes
as bright as light, exchanged His humanity for divinity and spoke face-to-face
with Moses and Elijah. An experience of such wonder, such terrible majesty
would leave most of us speechless. But not Peter. Peter was rarely at
a loss for words.
"Rabbi," he babbled, "it is good that we are here. Let
us make three tents, one for you and one for Moses and one for Elijah"
(Mark 9:5, esv). In the early days of his discipleship, Peter almost always
said the first thing that came to his mind-and he usually got it all wrong.
What was running through Peter's mind? It could have been a prophecy from
the book of Amos. "In that day I will restore David's fallen tent"(9:11).
This was Peter's dream. And he wanted to do whatever he could to help
make it come true-even if it meant building tents so Jesus and Elijah
and Moses would stay there on the mountain. Jesus had already told him
that He had to suffer and go away first, but Peter hand't been listening.
He wanted the kingdom to begin now-on this day, not that day. He wanted
the glory without the suffering. He wanted the crown without the cross.
Fixed on his own dream, Peter forgot that God had called him to be a fisher
of men-not a tentmaker.